Translation of 老徐's 致老大和同志们书 entry:
My direct supervisor, my boss chats so much he's the last one to leave everyday, when he doesn't have anything to say he always says the old saying: I think you should learn something …… I'll think about it …… when I was small, as soon as I heard these words I went nervous, my heart murmurs: …… what am I going to learn this time? …… finally, I've grown up, I'm not guilty, and I'm not afraid to crease my eyebrows and say to him: "Learn what?!" —— this is what happened today. Not only this, but I on an ignorant expression …… it was fun …… I stole a glance at my boss, his reaction was to laugh: Hey, you've gotten better haven't you. Hehe, my boss was a paper tiger …… if I found out earlier, I'd climb a wall, I wouldn't take off my shoes and go to bed, I'd just eat white sugar everyday.
Now I've grown up, the single benefit is my freedom, noone can force you to do anything anymore. The single disadvantage is you've got to be very self-disciplined. It's that kind of spontaneity to ask yourself to do something, if it can't be done, then you condemn yourself, a small guy in my head will say: Oh, you, you, you, how can you be like this, you don't have patience, you're drude and careless, your mind, your big headed-ness, you ignorant person …… rebelling against somone is a way of striving for freedom, my heart always has rises suddenly and I feel like it's right; it's easy to get depressed if you rebel against yourself, it's probably the kind of thing that Freud (弗洛伊德) talks about: going too far in developing myself. I heard the worst ones will get attracted to suicidal behaviour. But then, living away from this is positive and nice, but if you don't want it then there's a problem. And so if there was another small person, the other small person would say, no, no, no, there isn't a fixed pattern. People can live how they want, being afraid of the cold doesn't make them delicate and it isn't called: no, nervous, better, just wearing a bit more is enough: being crude and careless is called being unconcerned, I've heard it said that this is a virtue —— at least a lot of people say this: if you're not patient then don't keep suffering it, if you suppress your feelings and it causes a disaster then who's fault is it. Just turn your eyes and use your protective eyes to stare: Sha Te A Pu (沙特阿普), bye bye, and go to hell. What a nerve, go away ……………… the single problem is whether to turn hostile or stay defensive, throwing away your face is like throwing away water, if you want to bring it back, it's pretty hard …… ok, when you don't want to bring it back then bring it back. I've been talking in a roundabout way …… this is the reasoning if it's lacking in reason, since everything has another side to it. Think of it how you like, it's ok as long as noone blocks anyone else. Who knows.
My boss, is it ok to talk like this? …… the child you've taught, in any case, is her …… she pretty much still: honours her parents, is well-behaved, likes to study, improves everyday, is devoted to the people of her motherland, loves her united friends, is warm to her friends like the spring, has no enemies, has people making her their imaginary enemy …… I can't do anything about that. As long as everyone else is happy, happiness lies in giving help to others. And: cleverness, kindheartedness, honesty …… I can't say anymore, if I continue I'll feel embarassed, anyway it's not far from perfection …… and it isn't too close …… you can't be too perfect …… a lot of people have said, pursuing perfection will put you on the road to ruin, and there's the saying: an elegant tree in a forest …… a strong wind will push it away ……
Among the rotten eggs and tomatoes, before everything's smashed, I avoided it, with my friends from far away, asked for their schoolmates to take them to dinner. If this life is short, you must not stir up trouble, at the same time, be devoted to yourself —— I'm really beautiful, I'm really fantastic, let's all be egotistic ……
Goodnight.
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